The Zoos Shave All the Animals

Welcome to 2011

2011-05-13T18:59:00.007Z

Or at least welcome to the May of 2011!

Only been 17 months (edit: 29 months!!!!!) since my last blog. I've been inspired after reading some blogs - perhaps the greatest blog ever - my own ;)

I got the bug again after showing my friends at work a before picture of me before my op. No, not a sex change op (thanks Jess, Cat and Lucie) but a face changing, bone crunching, jaw dropping (hopefully not literally) op. You can see the blog way back in Aug/Sept of 2005. Called 'Changing Faces'.

I would link it, but I simply can't be bothered!

So what's new with you, fellow reader? Can't just talk about myself all the time can I. How very selfish. What's that? You want information from me? Ok!

So, I'm currently working in a genetics laboratory. I finished Uni with a 1:1, went to Central America for 3 weeks. Did a bungee jump. Came home and got an admin job at the lab I did my sandwich placement at while I was at Uni (mmm, sandwiches) and cried for 16 months while I remained in that job being paid about half of what I would be paid if my Uni degree was actually being used. Frustrating, to say the least. Especially when I had interviews for jobs I was trained to do, but kept on just missing out! Argh.

Fortunately, a job upstairs in genetics appeared. I planned for the interview. I toured the labs for the interview. I even bought a new tie for the interview. And then I got into the interview. Uh-oh. Worst interview EVER.

Forgot even basic science. And heard back about a day later to hear, "We're sorry. But you were unsuccessful this time."

Someone shoot me now.

But that's not where the story ends. For I was desperate. And when I am desperate, I do things out of the ordinary. I actually went to speak to the boss who rejected me. A perk of working in the same building!

And I must've been fairly impressive during this talk because a couple of weeks later she offered me a temporary position in the lab :) I was ecstatic! I think my reply to her email went something like this:

Boss: "Hi Tom. I am happy to announce that we can now offer you the temporary position as we have managed to free up the money from HR. Would you like to accept the position?"

Me: "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you!"

The funny thing is I'm not even joking. She was probably tempted to rescind the offer! So that's where I've been since Jan 10. It's much more enjoyable, much more challenging and I've met a lot of great people.

Gosh, so much more has changed in the past year that one blog just simply isn't enough to go through them all. I'm certainly not the same person I was though. And after reading my old blogs that makes me both happy and sad...

Oh. Although I do have a beautiful girlfriend. And if you ever read this, hi Tori x x

And...

2009-01-01T17:02:00.000Z

That's the end of that.

Next...

Gah!!

2009-01-01T16:04:00.001Z

I did it... now we wait...

"Perculiar People" ?

2008-11-28T00:33:00.002Z

So, the church I go to used a have vision statement which said that everyone in the church were 'a perculiar people'.

As a teenager, when I first started going to my church, I was quite happy to stand out from the crowd, to be different and to say the things that I knew would separate me out from other people. In essence, I was chuffed to be considered 'perculiar' as the gift from God that went along with that title (eternal life) seemed a pretty fair trade off!

However, as I've grown and been to Uni and had a few years in the 'real world', I've wanted to be accepted and integrate myself into those new areas that I've been faced with. I didn't want to be considered as a perculiar, or a strange, or a weird person anymore.

I think in some respects, I thought that if I could be more like those people, I could relate to them better and so have a greater chance of bringing the Gospel to them.

However, in doing so, I've diluted myself down and forgotten what makes me, 'Me'.

Maybe the time is coming for me to turn the corner. For me to remember what it means to stand out and to be different. Not for the sake of being different, but different because of what's at stake. Different because it's the right thing to do. Different because the truth is in me.

I've been hitting who I am because I've been trying to fit in. To not be considered weird.

And I'm not weird. I'm just in truth.

The World According to Me

2008-09-04T13:38:00.003Z

I can't actually remember the last time I did a T.W.A.2 ... been a while.

Anyway, me, Gem and Nammer were round Loz's the other day playing the 'Name Game'.

(I've just realised that rhymes!)

Nami: He's the current Prime Minister
Tom: ... Tony Blair!

How would that be for a package?!

2008-09-03T11:36:00.004Z

As most of you know, I don't have a job at the moment and so I've decided this week that I need to get my jogging groove going by going... erm... jogging.

I'm not the best jogger in the world and I seriously think I've got some sort of genetic condition predisposing me to not being able to jog or run for long periods of time.

Don't be fooled into thinking I'd be excellent at the 100 metres either, cos I ain't.

But a few of my friends have done Race for Life this year, and the year before, and the year before, which is only 5km. I say *only* 5km because surely, being a footballer and cyclist, I should be able to comfortably run 5km off the bat right? Right??

Wrong.

After weeks of football training, a few long rides and a couple of 1 1/2 mile jogs, I decided I'd attempt 3 miles yesterday (that's almost 5km, but not quite). I'd never felt so dead after a run in all my life. I mean, me and 'Nelly' went on a bikeride last Monday which we thought would be an 18 mile round trip (to the Severn Bridge) but ended up being about 30 miles and I was still more fresh after that than simply doing 3 miles in 20 minutes!!

I walked around after my run to warm down and thinking I'd done so, sat at my PC for 20 minutes, sorted some stuff and attempted to get up. I quickly realised my calfs weren't up to the task and stumbled around the room for a bit. They had pretty much turned to jelly.

The good thing is my legs actually feel fine today, so my recovery rate must be pretty good. I went for a shorter run to the post office to get a stamp for a speeding fine letter (GGGGRRRRRRRR!) and this actually (finally) brings us to the title of my blog.

Cos the guy in front of me had a package worth £2,500.

... Which he'd put in a Ambi Pur box.

Can anyone say 'drugs'?

I was tempted to grab it and run, but knowing my own endurance I don't think it would've ended with me looking quite so pretty ;)

Poem Numero... 10?

2008-09-01T21:47:00.002Z

The tangeble touch You seem to be hiding,
I can only wait for so long without minding.
Yet You say "Hold on", "Be Patient", "Just wait".
"My love won't delay, it will never be late."

In a World that's cracking, crumbling, falling.
When all my emotions reflex into mourning.
I know Your words are truth and life.
I'm just finding motivation hard to find.

I've peered into the past, and seen my reflection,
But the person I was is lost in deception.
He saw the endless possibilities with you,
But you threw away, seemingly out of the blue.

I've found myself since, but just need Your touch.
For You to come now, to just lift me up.
For faith to be stirred and freedom to reign.
To forget my pride, and be me again.

L.A. Baby

2008-04-14T00:54:00.002Z

So I went to LA last year in September. I know it's a bit late but I just wanted to mention the fact that I...

Met Will Smith.

It's true

Also, typing on laptops is really, really difficult.

Peace out

Soul Survivor 2008

2007-08-18T16:54:00.000Z

"Into His Likeness."

Once again, like last year, before the week started I really wasn't looking forward to going to SS.

And like last year as I got home I was actually so glad I had come.

With SS you get out what you put in. It's the way that relationships work with God. He's done the hard part... all we've gotta do is come with willing hearts (easier said than done considering I've been extremely unwilling this entire year!) and what you get back (even if it does take a bit of perserverance) is always, always worth it.

Myself, Tim, Ryan and Luke stayed on for the last meeting and I know God touched the latter two in a deeper way then He'd done all week because they were more willing. And I know God worked in me in a greater way because I was more willing as well.

I've realised that the key to a joyful life is to abide in God. I've been told church meetings aren't the be-all and end-all of Christianity and that's 100% true. I also believe that church should be a place where you celebrate God's goodness and what He's performed. However, I also think that church is that place you go to when you just need to be refuelled so that God can motivate you to work in His ways again.

Without God, we are darkness. "Our righteousness is like dirty rags" it says somewhere in the Bible. Google is if you want.

But with Him we are light. And it's not a chore either once you've been with Him. It's a joy! The Spirit motivates us (the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak) but we have to get with God. We have to be refuelled... and just like light needs a source of power, God is that power. But once you have that, it's not difficult to keep the light on until you exhaust the energy - you just need to keep topping up.

Why do people seem to come back from big festivals "on fire" yet they can't get that in their church? Actually... they can get it at their church too...

I think it's because:

They are more open at festivals,
They're surrounded by like-minded people,
Their purpose for being at the festival is because they want more of God,
The festival has been prayed for for God to strut His stuff,
Time is given for God to move.

Church meetings can be like that too!! But we've seemed to forget it because most of the time when I've come out of them this year, I haven't been changed.

Let's give church back to God and I mean really back to Him. And let's come to church to meet with Him and for everything else to be swept aside.

Damn. I'm preaching!

Anyway. God healed a woman of cancer, two of the youths knees, someones wrist, someones ankle (these are just the ones I remember cos there were over 100 testimonies at the end) met with some of our youth like they've never experienced before and over 500 people became Christians. I just pray they stick with it!

As Michael Jackson once sung

2007-04-29T12:03:00.000Z

"You are not alone"

Just a gentle reminder to myself about the word this morning! :)

I’ve lost my foot…

2007-04-12T22:32:00.000Z

Ola.

Portugal… where to start?

Well, firstly what a fantastic holiday. The weather was brilliant (except for one cloudy morning and one rainy afternoon – and also when we left but you want to leave when’s it turns sour don’t you?)

The forecasts had said 19c with overcast skies for the weekend… they were wrong. It must’ve been almost 25c each day and clear skies. Thank you to the maker of the sun and sky for that.

Anyway, enough about the weather because I know it’s been great back here too.

The food was excellent. I only had one disappointing meal and I put that down to the fact that it wasn’t chicken (I love chicken). Nig managed to wrangle a free wine off of someone in Albuferia who was trying to persuade us to eat at their restaurant. We ate curry by the sea with the best onion baji’s I think I’ll ever have and if you ever go to Armecao De Pera you have got to check out Pedro’s…

… each and everyday.

Cos it rocks.

It was packed full of funny moments too most of which will make no sense whatsoever (have you ever been on holiday with both Loz and Sara?! (NOT Shara))

So below are some random quotes and facts about the holiday of which there are many more than I can explain.

Tom: “Ola Master Splinter.”

Loz: “I’ve lost my foot.”

Loz: “Blind people ‘feel’ their way across the road but what do deaf people do?”
Tom: “Erm. They can see?”

Loz, Tom and Sara: “Zebra!!”

Pilot: “Hi. We are currently over the... errrrmmm… English Channel. Errrrmmmm… we should be arriving in Bristol in just under an hour. The weather is... errrrmmmm… pleasant but cloudy.

Dirty English People in Worst Bar Ever: “Ruby Ruby Ruby”

Loz and Maz’s also had some interesting books… some may even call them ‘dirty’. Maz even brought an interesting pack of cards. You should all ask her about them.

Luke thought it would be a good idea to have a shower before going on to the beach.

And Nigel shook a random guys hand after they’d just swam to the horizon and back.

Esther loved the animal impressions we were doing in the bar… ok, the animal impressions I was doing in the bar… loudly.

Man Utd won 7-1, we did some karaoke and there were some really random Norwegian tourists who joined in with us.

I had what is known as the ‘Barcardi slump’. (No. I didn’t get drunk!)

And what holiday would be complete without Stop The Bus, Trumps, Rummy, Solitaire and Poker?

Fruits

2007-03-25T15:00:00.000Z

What are people 'picking' up from how you live your life?

Two Nights

2007-03-21T20:34:00.000Z

Two long chats.

First one was unplanned, gave me perspective and reminded me of what is actually important.
Second one was planned, took a load off my mind and let me know that there is nothing to fix.

Motivation is creeping back in...

But I don't wanna

2007-03-12T22:00:00.000Z

Isn't it funny how when you're really pressured on your faith, you realise how many cracks are actually there?

I've been reading Job recently. Well... not all of it, just flicking through it really. It's a tough read. Poor guy had so much go wrong for him and even his three friends called him a liar.

Recently I've been moping a bit. Apologies to all who have been caught in the cross fire, and unfortunately my relationship with God has falted slightly. I tend to forget that life isn't a sprint, it's actually a marathon which we have to press through. Sometimes we want to try and go our own ways because obviously our ways are best and God doesn't know what He's doing...

I've been thinking back to Soul Survivor and how I came back so fired up certain in what I believed and what needed to be done. Time is definitely a healer, but it can also be a killer. If I could go back to any point of certainty in my life, it would be there. But I suppose SS was a burst of steroids and what I need to do now is keep up with my training.

However, I'm feeling a lot like a 'Sunday Christian' at the moment, in some serious need of a kick up the arse.

My wants should be God's wants, but it doesn't always seem to work out that way, surprisingly!

I guess all I can do is get some perspective and wait.

Things To Not Say During An Elders Meeting: Part 1

2007-03-12T21:49:00.000Z

Tom: "Hi Jen. You fancy a bit of online poker?"

"I want to ride my bicycle

2007-03-08T20:49:00.000Z

I want to ride my bike.

I want to ride my bicycle.

Through Southmead. 2am at night..."

Tea Time Fun

2007-03-08T20:47:00.000Z

Lynne: I don't really look like my brother's or sister. But we do all have the same jaw.

Liz: ... wouldn't that make it hard to eat?

Context Dependent

2007-03-05T22:38:00.000Z

Loz: Why can't I have reproduction?

Erm. I don't know?

Char and Sweat

2007-03-05T22:32:00.000Z

T: Char, do you sweat?

Tips: I try not to.

Home Group Fun

2007-03-01T07:15:00.000Z

We're playing the 'Guess The Famous Person I'm thinking Of Game' at Home Group and it's T who has thought of somebody.

We wanted to narrow down the years of her death to post and pre WW2... unfortunately... it was Ben's turn :P

Us: Just ask something like 'Did she die before 1950'. We need to narrow down when she died.

Ben: Erm. Ok. *pause* Did she die after 1900?

Us: No, no, no. We've already asked whether she'd died in the last 100 years and she did.

Ben: Oh. I see. I missed that sorry. *pause while he thinks*
Did she die in the 20th Century?

Swings and Roundabouts

2007-02-22T17:50:00.001Z

So last week I was getting cussed off at work and felt a bit bad... so this week I apologised...

And now...

I'm getting fought over.

Bio Gen: We need Tom
Tox: No... we need Tom and we said you could only have him for one day. You're always stealing people from us.
Bio Gen: But we need them! No one else is in!

Ok ok. I know they're not really fighting over me, they're just fighting for 'someone' and also the principle of it all, but at least I'm wanted! lol.

Well and truely...

2007-02-18T23:36:00.000Z

I feel about 2 inches tall.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tom is going to try to not be such a fool.

"How can this fool be so loved,
When all I am is underserving"

Forget About the Hampster

2007-02-17T12:11:00.000Z

Forget about Top Gear.

Forget about Take That.

Forget about The Police.

Heck, even forget about 24.

Because Timmeh is back!!!!

When you talk about me...

2007-02-15T16:53:00.000Z

Make sure I'm not in the room.

I'm currently sat in my lab at Southmead in the office, and apparently my supervisor and work colleage can't see me because they've just been cussing me behind my back!!

G: "He seems pretty cocky."

Congratulations. You got it in one!

H: "He walks in at ten past nine every morning... the other day he did it and I picked him up on it and he said 'Actually it's eight minutes past'"!

Yeah... it was. And if I didn't get all my work done by 4:15pm everyday and do it correctly you'd have a leg to stand on.

That has actually brightened up my day. I'm tempted to walk out of my corner and wave goodbye and see the looks on their faces... but I'd be more than a bit embarrassed for them.

Taken Out

2007-02-13T18:20:00.000Z

"Rip out.
Burn out.
Turn it all around.

Flip out.
Crash out.
Knees upon the ground.

Stress out.
Flex out.
Peace will find a way

Think out.
Speak out.
Love is here to stay."

I just spoke to a very nice man at Tesco's car insurance and renewed my policy.

It's strange how talking to a nice person at a call centre can make you feel calm in a sea of uncertainty.

As for the latest info...

I'm fine. I know what I want! Probably just don't know what I need...

Bah!

2007-02-06T17:01:00.001Z

I want to feel like myself again.

Doh.

So close...

2007-02-03T16:35:00.001Z

Sometimes you feel like something is so distant you can't touch it.

Sometimes you feel something is so close, but you're not sure what to do.

Sometimes you feel something is close, you know what to do, but you're not sure if you should.

Sometimes you feel something is so close, you know what to do, and you know you should but you can't quite bring yourself round to doing it.

Sometimes you feel something is so close, you know what to do, you know you should, you bring yourself to do it but then something else gets in the way.

And sometimes you feel like all the above!

Confused? Good. :)

No duh

2007-01-29T18:00:00.000Z

We do Downs Syndrome Risk Assessments at work and so need a sample and a request form.

The request forms come with Clinical Details if they're might be a problem.

Unfortunately, I've had a few saying:

"Clinical Details (if any):
Pregnant"

Lazy Saturdays

2007-01-29T17:47:00.000Z

Early Hours

While at breakfast.

Tim: It's too early for salt.

Low Flying

Tim, Tom, Trist and Tips (Char) are all in Avonmouth at Stage-Electricals.

<>T is by the counter waiting to be served when Tom gets a text.<>
Tom looks at his message and it's from Char.

Text: Could u inform tim that he flyin low i didn't want 2 say be discreet

Tom laughs.
Looks at Tim.
Looks down at Tim.
Looks at Tim.
Looks down at Tim.
Looks at Tim.

Tim: What?!
Tom: You're flying low.

Tim goes red.

Wrong Way

T: I think I got on the motorway wrong and we're going towards Weston.
Tom: Oh yeah. I recognise this part...

Tim: Maybe not. Avonmouth is behind us...
*pause*
T: Of course Avonmouth is behind us. We want to be driving away from it!

"What a difference a day makes"

2007-01-23T23:27:00.000Z

"24 little hours."

If you asked me how I was feeling 24 hours ago, hopeful, excited, happy, nervous and great would've been in my vocabulary.

If you ask me now, most of those words would be gone with perhaps 'hopeful' remaining in some form simply because I wouldn't want to let go of it yet.

God.
I hope You're in control. I hope You know what You're doing. Cos this doesn't feel like much fun.

It's ironic that I've spoken about 'time' in my last couple of blogs because time certainly doesn't seem to be on my side at the moment.

Hall Way Etiquette

2007-01-16T23:08:00.000Z

You know the feeling.

You're in work/uni/school.

You're walking down a hallway.

You see someone walking towards you.

And they are going to walk past you.

What do you do?

___________________________

The 'Nod and Smile' - Requires no vocals. Works in situations where you don't know the person but still want to be polite but also in situations where you do know the person and want to be polite. The key here is to not overdo the smile. A simple teethless grin will usually suffice.

The 'Look At Your Phone' - Don't want to make eye contact but don't want to blatantly appear to ignore the person? Requires fast reactions but also a certain degree of acting ability. Maybe you want to shudder slightly before diving into your pocket so it 'appears' you've been buzzed. Guess what? People will rarely believe this technique but will generally respect you for trying something other than the Ignoral (see below)

The 'Friendly Chat' - maximizes vocals. Works best when you a) Know the person and b) Are genuinely interested in them. Point b) can be scrapped slightly when you don't like the person but want to make an effort. However, point a) is pretty much essential unless you are full of courage or you find them attractive.

The 'Ignoral' - "Oh no. Why does this person have to be walking towards me again!? What am I going to do?" The essential thing to do when ignoring someone is to avoid eye contact at all costs. If eye contact is made, you'll both feel awkward if you don't have a back up plan. Suggested areas of vision are down at your shoes (generally preferred) or at a wall. Unfortunately a lot of people choose this option as opposed to the Nod and Smile. The problem with the Ignoral is if one person tries to make eye contact (perhaps even performing the Nod and Smile or Friendly Chat) the other person may be so busy trying to ignore them, that they forget to respond. This is known as "Hall Way Etiquette Suicide" and must avoided at all costs as any future hopes of performing the "Friendly Chat" with the other person will probably be shot down.

Time Part II

2007-01-14T17:42:00.000Z

And when the time is almost upon you, you do something stupid and the moment feels like it's been ruined or will be ruined because of your foolishness and lack of patience.

Nice one.

I speak English proper I do

2007-01-14T17:38:00.000Z

Lozza says:
At the moment

Lozza says:
I am going to concentrate on my writing

Lozza says:
my dad is giving me gramma lessons

Tom *Ah mzungu* says:
the Sanctuary news?

Lozza says:
yep

Tom *Ah mzungu* says:
I'm sorry. I'm going to have to blog 1 second

Definitely need more grammar lessons.

Oh poo...

2007-01-11T17:37:00.000Z

Clearly I packed my car in the wrong place yesterday because when I got back to it, there were loads of little white sheets all over it.

I really enjoy...

2007-01-10T00:11:00.000Z

Completely ripping it out of people who phone into Late Night Love on GWR FM with Mario.
That very last bit of steak
When my head hits the pillow and I fall to sleep instantly
When I wake up and already feel fresh and alert
Knowing that I've written a good song for the first time in months
Making others laugh
Playing the Wii with my mates
Finding one more slice of cake when I thought there was none left
Finishing a task knowing I'd done my best
Applying something I'd recently learnt to aspects of my life
Being surrounded by God's peace
Car trips with Loz, Maz and Adam... ;) ;)
Flights with my cousin Josh (he's scared of flights)
Meeting up with family who I haven't seen in weeks
Having a crush on someone
And them liking you back!
Lying on a beach, on a baking hot day with an iPod in my ears knowing that no one will flick sand on me
Flicking sand on people who are relaxing on the beach with their iPods
Going for a swim when I haven't been for 6 months
Riding my bike into work when the weather is great
Riding my bike back home when the weather is still great
Drilling a shot pin-point into the bottom corner of the net
Lofting a long ball right on to the feet of a team mate
Meeting a new person and clicking with them within minutes
Listening to the final mixes of our songs after they've been recorded
Losing myself in worship
Losing myself in prayer
Losing myself in praise
Knowing that everything will work out in the end
Seeing people's new babies for the first time
Park Event
Seeing the rewads for stepping out in faith
Playing Risk/Poker etc and knowing I can't actually talk my way out of much but that people think I think I can
Watching new Season's of 24
Watching old episodes of Friends
Bowling. Tennis. Football. Table Tennis. Pool
Beating He of the Ten Shampoos and The Norm at table tennis
Beating Tim at pool
Beating Trist at Risk
Making up nicknames for people at Uni such as: The Frog. Doctor Who. Lead. Dani Champion of the World. BA. Grintor. DI. 21 Questions. and many, many more.
When the clocks go back and I get an extra hour in bed
Getting home just in time on a Saturday to see the highlights of the Man Utd game

See. I still blog

2007-01-08T12:23:00.000Z

I've never written a poem at work before though...

Caught up in your world of lies.
You want me to see things through your eyes.
A bitter touch, I loose my sight.
The bleakest day. My blackest night.

My finger tips are feeling raw.
From clinging on, for what’s in store.
I loose myself, myself once more,
Please lift me up again in awe.

Cos I want to be free.
Like the song birds in the early morn.
To dance the streets at the break of dawn.
I want to be me.
Not trying to take some other form.
To be the person I was born to be.

Hmm. That's a bit depressing for this time of the afternoon.

Time

2006-12-25T18:03:00.000Z

Time really is relative.

One second you're wishing it would slow down as you see all the people in work who are retiring and those who have been there for 30+ years and you realise that in no time at all, you could be one of those people.

And the next second you're wishing that the weeks would fly by so that instead of waiting for something to happen, something has happened and you were part of it.

The problem is after the anticipation you are usually left with the feeling that you want time to slow down again!

'Life is a rollercoaster of time' !!

And a very Happy Birthday to:

2006-12-15T12:57:00.000Z

You

Indeed

2006-12-12T17:59:00.000Z

"Cos life is a rollercoaster of sound.

And sometimes your mountains fall to the ground.

But when all you want to do is hide...

Stick around for the ride."

Riding is fun :) It's when you fall off that it hurts!

Ouch?

2006-12-11T01:46:00.000Z

I bought an inner tube for my bike the other day.

The company who made it were called, 'NUTRAX'.

Poem Number 7?

2006-12-07T23:31:00.000Z

All I need Is You
Who gives sight to the blind.
I want to make Your ways mine.
You'll see me through.
When my world falls apart.
You'll make it more beautiful.

Ah. God is good.

Free Adverts

2006-12-07T23:18:00.000Z

This morning I was in the car, listening to GWR FM. They were talking about how there are very little religious Christmas cards about anymore.

Until:

GWR Presenter: 'We've just had a quick text in about the Christmas card feature. Apparently you can get religious cards from Sanctuary Books on Staple Hill High Street.'

That my churches bookshop. Nice to hear a bit of free advertising on the radio :)

Fourrrr....uuuurrrggghh

2006-12-07T19:21:00.000Z

And to think, I almost forgot to blog this!

Round Nig and Est's the other day for poker with some other people *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* and I noticed that there were some golf balls in the fruit bowl. Thinking it was a bit strange I just ignored them...

Anyway, Neil came round and decided to ask Esther why there were golf balls in the fruit bowl.

Neil: Est. Can I ask why you have golf balls in your bowl?

Tom: Yeah. I was gonna ask you earlier but forgot. (I was eating - good excuse)

Est: *laughing* Ah. There is actually a good explanation for that.

Tom and Neil: Oh ok. What it is?

Est: Well... Nigel likes to roll them underneath the balls of his feet and he kept on leaving them just lying around so I put them in the bowl.

Tom and Neil appear to accept this explanation until...

Tom: You mean that those golf balls have been rolled around Nig's sweaty feet...?! ... And that they've been touching all the soft skinned fruit in the bowl. Urrrrgggh.

Est: You know what. You're right! That's pretty disgusting and I never realised!

Tom: Remind me to never accept fruit from you guys again.

Finger licking good

2006-11-16T19:23:00.000Z

For years people have been cussing me cos I live at home and don't cook.

Well... my 'rents are away so now I have to cook.

They've been away before, but somehow I've managed to get away with it cos it's been around times that I've been out for loads of meals with mates or one of my brothers has been around to do the cooking.

So, for the first time ever, I actually feel like a proper student.

Cooking Diary: Part 1

Wednesday:

I wasn't feeling all that adventurous. There was a steak in the fridge that mum had left out before she went so I whacked that under the grill. For me carbs I stuck some potato wedges in the oven and for the veg I cooked some peas in the microwave. Topped it all off with a bit of BBQ sauce. Mmmmmm

Thursday:

I've never cooked pasta. Never. Until 2 hours ago. I'd been told it was easy and it really, really was. Unfortunately, my mum usually just makes pasta bake, so I had to make do with a dodgy sauce over the pasta. However, I didn't end up with too much pasta, and I used just the right amount of sauce. I was well impressed. I added a bit of protein in with some chicken breast which I decided to cut up into smaller chunks and fry in some oil. Generally I'm fine with cooking any meat, unless it was a roast. I wouldn't have a clue!

Tomorrow:

I think I'm going to have to skank the cooking and go with a chicken balti ready meal + rice. Only because I'll need to make it to Youth Club for 6:30pm.

Pop. Pop.

2006-11-16T19:19:00.000Z

I was riding home on Wednesday. And I got a puncture.

So I drove into work on Thursday. And I got a puncture.

"Bang, bang" anyone?

The Haircut Song Part II

2006-11-11T19:01:00.000Z

"Haircut. Haircut.

I don't need a haircut.

Haircut. Haircut.

Don't give me a haircut."

The Haircut Song

2006-11-11T13:12:00.000Z

"Haircut. Haircut.

I need a haircut.

Haircut. Haircut.

Give me a haircut."

Bang-Bang

2006-11-05T23:40:00.000Z

I hit the ground.

Bang-Bang.

You shot me down.

The World According to Loz

2006-11-04T23:59:00.000Z

T: Have you never heard of Jason and the Argonauts?

Loz: No. Should I have?

T: It's an old film.

Loz: Oh. Nope. I have heard of James and the Orange though.

Surprise?

2006-11-04T23:55:00.000Z

I recieved a letter from my old work about my pension policy. It had my details on it:

NI Number: JP237455B
Date of Birth: 30/12/1984
Normal Retirement Date: 30/12/2049
Marital Status: Married

Poor woman.

I'd quite like to know who she is as well.

Stolen

2006-11-04T01:28:00.000Z

Today I have mostly eaten:

7:30 - Two bowls of Kelloggs Crunchy Nut with milk.

10:30 - One slice of toffee sponge cake. One Mr Kipling Lemon slice. Some Slow Roasted Lamb with Moroccan Spices flavoured Walkers Crisps.

12:00 - Sandwiches. McVities Mini Chedders. One Cadbury's Miniroll. One snack size Mars Bar. 4 Cadbury's Heroes chocolates.

15:00 - Sixteen Cadbury's Heroes chocolates.

17:30 - Chicken Balti with a plate full off rice.

18:15 - Cadbury's Trifle dessert

21:00 - A couple of 1p Cola Bottle sweets and a chunk of Yorkie.

Weight Gained - Unknown.

Exercise Done - 7 miles on bike. 3 miles worth of walking.

Guilty - Slightly.

Women Pulled - None.

Borat

2006-11-04T01:25:00.000Z

Overated.

But good.

"Copywritten...

2006-10-18T16:45:00.000Z

... so don't copy me."

2 new CBD songs up and running on myspace.

This makes me happy.

:D
:D
:D
:D

Let us know what you think. Cos no one else has! :P

Making a tit of myself in Uganda

2006-10-17T17:27:00.000Z

So, we were visiting Kiwoko Hospital in Uganda.

Looking around the grounds, and wandering through the wards and we came to one of the final wards on our trip.

New Born Ward. Aww. Cute little babies.

"You'll have to take off your shoes and put on these clean slippers."

Ok.

So I do. I walk down the corridor and turn around the corner.

I look, and turn right back. Take off my slippers and go bright red.

Apparently it was feeding time.

Uh-oh

2006-10-17T17:24:00.000Z

I've got someones house keys.

Tanned Hands Task

2006-10-16T16:53:00.000Z

Phew. Try saying that really, really fast.

Because my job involves the useage of UV light to check for flourescent stuff and the UV light is shone from a light that looks like a table lamp, I thought I'd see if I can tan my own hands by keeping them under there for about 1-2 minutes a day. (I swear, I can be cool sometimes)

So if you see me in the winter with brown hands but white arms, you'll know why.

And anyway - who's ever heard of hand cancer?

You know it's October when:

2006-10-12T19:01:00.000Z

You are wearing single layers when riding to work
There are still a couple of people wearing shorts
When people are opening windows in the lab because it's too hot
You are sweating after riding your bike more so than if it was July
It's warm enough to be April or May
There's no sign of a frost
You are still only sleeping in your boxers and maybe a pair of socks
You don't need to put the central heating on an hour before you wake up just so you can get out of bed into warmth

Yeah.

It must be October. :) I'm loving the weather!

Myspace

2006-10-12T18:55:00.000Z

I could seriously cause physical pain to Myspace.

For some reason our new songs won't work on there. Unless you do something quite generous and allow people to download them. This alone is pretty stupid.

So I emailed the """""Help Desk""""" (I used 5 " because they're pretty pants) telling them my problem.

There response?

"To add a song on to your profile simple go to the Band profile who's song you wish to add and click on the Add button next to the song you want."

Hmmm.

You see. This doesn't answer my question and clearly you haven't read a single word of my email because.... IT'S MY SONG THAT I WANT TO UPLOAD FROM MY PC TO OUR BANDS MYSPACE!!

Rahhh.

I have decided -

2006-10-12T18:54:00.000Z

We need more Normisms!

Come on people. Keeps those ears peeled!

My Oh My

2006-10-10T20:17:00.000Z

It's been a far few weeks hasn't it?

Well.

I have a whole shed load of excuses which I won't bore you with...

Bikes, bikes, bikes

Since I started riding to work, and was practically killing myself doing it, I have recently begun to enjoy my 3 1/2 mile ride in the dry. (I drive when it's wet ;) )

I think it's because it takes me a shorter time then driving, it's great for my fitness and I can act like a bit of a dare-devil on my bike cos I hope I know what I'm doing a bit more than if I was acting silly in a car.

The wind in your hair while going 40mph down a hill. Ahhhh. Tis great.
It's even better when there's traffic and you can weave in and out of it.

I found out that a great song to weave yourself to is 'Power Of Love' off Back to the Future. I'm also guessing that 'Don't Stop Me Now' would also be good... until I get hit...

Recording, recording, recording

After almost a year we (CBD) finally got back into the studio to lay down some more tracks.

Last year we did 6 tracks - 24 hours of studio time.
This year we've done 3 tracks so far - 17 hours of studio time.

The maths doesn't work... but I think the extra time we've spent making the songs sound better has been worth it. You can listen to one of the tracks (Curious) through the hyperlink above.

New Mouse

No. Not the rodent. The computer thing.

My nice black one broke... cos I think my mum dropped it. And now we're using the old one. The old one is rubbish. It's got a button on the side which I keep on clicking accidently and it just happens to move to the previous page on the internet. It's annoying.

Mmm. That's pretty much all I can think of atm.

Bye

Bye-Bye Blog World II

2006-09-17T22:50:00.000Z

For now that is.

I shall see you in a week.

Is it just me...

2006-09-14T23:21:00.000Z

Or is the Killers new song a bit crap when compared to their old stuff?

THAT picture

2006-09-13T17:34:00.000Z

For some reason it didn't want to put the pic on the previous blog so here it is:

Top Gun.

A Weekend - Smye Way

2006-09-10T23:00:00.000Z

As some of you know and some of you don't, my Uncle Tim past away last Sunday afternoon.

He is a legend and will certainly be greatly remember by everyone who knew him and I'm sure he's with God now.

And this weekend was his funeral. However, it has turned out to be a weekend to remember and has absolutely reminded me that having a huge family may have it's down points some of the time, but the high points far outweigh the bad points.

Better start from the beginning...

4am. Friday

Whenever I have to catch flights, it always involves getting up at a stupidly early hour and then having to wait for people to get ready before you can go. Well, I was the person who they were waiting for so I couldn't really complain at that one.

I've only ever been in a plane 6 times and have never flown up the length of England before and the flight up didn't disappoint. The weather was fantastic - so good that you could clearly see even the smallest detail from the plane. My brother and cousin decided to give us all a guided tour of Bristol as we circled around it.

"There's the Suspension Bridge."
"Oh, there's Ashton Gate."

Seeing the city where you live from such a height is pretty damn sweet.

You really, really don't know how green England is until you see cities like Cardiff, Liverpool and Manchester surrounded just by green.

Also, you don't realise how fun it is to wind up people who are scared about flying (my cousin Josh) until you actually do it and he starts making high pitched yelps when the plane takes off and lands.

Site Seeing

We met my uncle Greg (he's on TV don't you know) at Edinburgh airport with his lady friend and they wanted to go and see the Rosilyn chaple, which is the chaple at the end of the Di Vinci Code. It was a good idea cos the chaple and grounds are amazing. Lots of stone carvings, brilliant stained glass windows and a great view from on top of the chaple which over looks a forest.

And you knew it was for tourists cos everything in the souvernire shop was a complete rip off.

But they did have soup in a basket...

Catching Up With The Family

We went back to my Aunties house and decided it would be a good idea to eat.

So we ordered 9 pizzas.

This is how many people were in the house! And this was only the beginning.

Also, you know how you also have family members who you just don't ever see. Well, one of my Aunties has 5 children who just can't ever be bothered to show up for much. Miracle of miracles they managed to make it all the way to Scotland... and did I recognise all of them? Heck no!

I spose it's the thought that counts... and the fact the weekend coinsided with a wedding one of them were going to anyway probably made it easier for them to show up.

Funeral

Tim was a bit of a stockly built man and I'm not too sure if either of my brother's realized exactly how heavy the coffin was going to be until they woke up the next morning with bruising on their shoulders. I guess I should've noticed by the expression on their faces that it was pretty heavy... I didn't want to carry it...

I'm not sure if you've ever dropped a coffin before but I expect it's not the best idea. I think I'd rather declare a reason why 2 people couldn't be married during a wedding.

Lots of people were there which is always nice and we even had beagles (sorta like trumpets) being played by two Royal Marines. My Uncle was in the RM and was a band leader. (he was actually in the Guiness Book of Records as the shortest ever Marine)

After the funeral we went to a eat and mingle etc and had a live band playing all sorts, like Blue Peter and... erm... other stuff which I don't know the name of. It was cool. One guy had a trumbone which was about as big as himself. Trying to make up for something perhaps... hmm...

Funnies

So you think I'm wierd? You'd be right. But all in all I'm pretty normal when compared to some others in my family.

Case 1:

Josh - he had a sherriff badge on his belt, so was claiming all week that he was the sherriff of the town and no one should mess with him. When asked to rub the badge, he did. It was very funny. Think 'Andy Norm' and you are about 90% of the way there.

"How far is it to Derby?"

"How do they speak in Manchester?"

Classics.

Case 2:

Martin - my cousin wanted us to stay quiet as we walked from the house to the hotel on Saturday night at about 11:00pm. We lasted about 5 minutes until we broke into song. He lasted about 5 minutes 10 seconds.

Case 3:

Daniel - Dad had printed a pic that Tim had taken of him with 3 of my brothers (below). Daniel is the one on the far right. I'm not sure exactly what brought it on, but he decided to tell us all about his apparent 'stiffy' in the pic. So for the rest of the weekend he was subject to joke after joke after joke.

'Daniel's love for machines started at an early age'
'Daniel seemed to enjoy the trip on to the ship a bit too much'

Daniel: I think you're all getting a bit too excited about this now.
Tom: Well. We weren't the first!

Hotel + Us

We all thought it would be a good idea to hang out in the hotel lobby by the bar and as you do, we made a circle of 20 chairs so everyone could join in.

Unfortunately, the hotel staff were feeling a bit gay.
Apparently the circle was 'inappropriately large' and we had to put the chairs back lest we intimidate the locals.

I'm not sure if you've ever been told your in an 'inappriopriatly large circle' but it was pretty funny considering my family is massive. And the fact they used the words inappropriately large in the same sentence.
________________________
We also wanted to watch good ol' Jonathan Ross on the TV at 12:00am. So we turned the TV up to hear it.

'Sorry Sir, but the TV is too loud and you have rooms above you. Can you turn it down.'

Erm. WE could barely hear the TV from 3 metres away so I somehow doubt they're gonna have much trouble with it up stairs, muppet.

The hotel also didn't do cooked breakfast. How pants.

Flight Home

Pilot: I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen but we are still waiting for 5 people to board the plane before we can take off. We shall wait 5 more minutes but then we shall have to unload the luggage just to take theirs out.

1 minute later...

Plane Load of People: *applause and cheering* for all of the 5 people who manage to make it in time.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I know Tim would've been proud of all of our antics!

Car Journeys with Brian

2006-09-04T21:39:00.000Z

I think my weekly lifts with Brian are the times of the week where I laugh the most.

If you've never shared a lift with Brian, then you are missing out big time.

We really do just have the same sense of humour.

However, Brian does use English rather liberally in the sense that I have no idea what she's talking about most of the time. Here is the:

"Dictionary Of Brian".

1) Cub - The part where the pavement meets the road and is raised up.

2) De Vet - The thick sheet that covers you when you are sleeping.

3) Pack - To bring a vehicle to a stationary position with the intention of leaving it there.

4) Another word for 'Poo' - A person who breaks the rules in a game. ie: He of The Ten Shampoos (treaty breaker...)

This undefinitive list shall grow.

And on a slightly more serious note, thanks to all the worship team/elders for making us feel welcome tonight.

Very much appreciated.

But more importantly, ta for bringing things that have been bugging you to our attention. They have been noted!

A Night on the Town

2006-09-03T01:09:00.000Z

So I just got back from town.

I went to the Commercial Rooms (Mushrooms) first to meet up with some mates from work, who I've only really known for 3 weeks so thought it would be good idea to go out to get to know them a bit better.

Queue in "Token Pretty Girl who used to work at Southmead".

Now TPGwutwaS was very, very attractive. And I was feeling a bit naughty so when she started flirting with me and then dragged me off the dance floor to ask me what I wanted to do, I figured she was game... as you do... lol...

(I'm making myself sound so blokish here, I know)

So we were chatting away and I went for the kill.

....

It turns out she wasn't really up for that 'cos it's boring'. (alright love, I get the hint!) But then somehow the convo reached the subject of sex. I promise I didn't ask her :P But it brought me an oppotunity to talk with her about my Christianity. (which after trying it on with her, didn't really seem like the best road to then walk down, but hey!)

Anyway, she told me about her friend Sam who's a Christian and then proceeded to science bash me which then I turned it around to my Christian perspective. However, I don't know if you've ever tried to witness in Reflex. It's kinda loud and usually the people you're talking to are kinda drunk which usual is bad.

So what did I do? I invited her outside to where it would be quiet.

T.W.A.T Tom

By this point she probably thought I was trying it on again and kindly refused my offer. However, the day I use God as an excuse to 'go somewhere quiet' just to try it on with a girl will be a dark, dark day indeed.

Anyway, we got back to dancing and I think we both tried our best to ignore each other the rest of the night. :)

So... I also: COMPLETED THE LOZ TASK

On my way back to my car I was walking past these two guys when one of them stopped me to ask me for cash. I'm going to admit here that I was going to give him £1 and be off. However, I had 1p in change and £5 note and £10 note in my wallet... and I don't know if you've ever given a homeless person 1p, but I imagine it's not really the best thing to do.

So I gave him the £5. Recently T has been telling me about how more than anything else in the Gospels, Jesus tells us to give money and to help the poor. So I have felt compelled to give.

But along with the £5 I told the guy that I was giving it to him because God loves him.

And he said:

"I've had people give me 50p and £1's but I have never had anybody say that Jesus loves me. I can see the love of God in your eyes. Thank you for putting a smile on my face."

Obviously after the rejection from the TPGwutwaS I felt a bit better because of that.

We actually chatted for about 5 minutes and he's from Alabama and had recently left his wife. I honestly didn't know what to say or do cos he was telling me he had no where to stay except the shelter. And in that respect I felt completely helpless cos I couldn't really do anything about that.

I'm sure God has started something again inside him though.

LOL!!! (laughing out loud)

2006-09-01T21:51:00.000Z

Oh this IS funny...

I was just about to write a blog about myself, calling the blog,
"The World According To Tom"

but I thought I'd abbreviate it to save time.

It turns out that it's really funny.

A Rare Occasion

2006-09-01T21:39:00.000Z

It's not very often where I meet a person and really, really like them - but this week was one such week.

Because speaking to Miss Gorgeous all this week put me in a bit of a pickle... or a jam... or some other sort of food container.

It turns out that she is a really nice person and was by far the easiest person I've been able to speak and joke with since I started my new job.

But she's gone now to go travelling with her boyfriend to Oz, NZ and South America.

I sound like a woman, I know (well, perhaps a lesbian...) but why do all the great girls who I like already have boyfriends?

(Collective 'sigh' for Tom pls) :)

The World According to Tim

2006-08-28T08:46:00.000Z

Tim is writing a letter which he wanted somebody to check over for him, which I did.

But after reading Loz's blog with all her 'proper English' terms it reminded me of Tim's letter because Tim uses words that I don't even understand.

Tom: Yeah, it's good. But what does this word mean?
Tim: Cede? You don't know what cede means?
Tom: Erm. No.
Tim: (in disgust) Don't people read dictionary's any more?!

Does anyone know what 'cede' means? (no dirty cheats!)

I'm playing a game

2006-08-27T19:02:00.000Z

It's called:

"How Many People Can You Let Down Over A Weekend"

It's not a very fun game. And the rules involve having to balance:

Uni mates
School mates
Work mates
Church

and you have a small constraint called 'Time' plus, 'The Need to Sleep'.

2 weeks and counting

2006-08-25T22:49:00.000Z

As you know. I never do not keep my promises so here is a new blog all about my new job.

Induction:
Was boring except for the fire bit! Oh... and the fact that I was the only guy in a room full of about 12 women. :)
For the fire bit we got to play with the extinguishers and got to walk around a smoke filled room. Don't worry, it wasn't real smoke. But you couldn't see 3 feet in front of you. It was bizarre.

Anyway, the rest has been alright. Just getting to know the people and as always, there is one really attractive person who is just that.

However, there are a few unfortunates with Miss Gorgeous.
One is that she has a b/f. Who's Italian. (pah. I have NO CHANCE)
And Two is that she's only temping (I almost wrote tempting! Ha) so will be gone in 1 week to go travelling.

I also ride into work as you may or may not know (as that covers everybody) and actually almost came off my bike the other day. Whoops. Dangerous games.

There is also this Welsh/Chinese girl who works there who's name is Yuk Ching. So I asked her how to pronounce her name today. Bare in mind that I've been calling her Yuk all week.

Tom: So, Yuk. How do you pronounce you're name? Is it 'Yuk' or 'Yok'?
Yuk Ching: It's Yuk. And it's Ching. All one word.
Tom: *thinks 'crap'* So you don't like it when I just call you Yuk?
Yuk Ching: Nope.
Tom: Good thing I asked then!

And, this next part may shock you. It may not.

Lady (speaking to me): I know you're very shy...

Erm. I know she probably doesn't know me then. What's a guy gotta do to try and settle into a place of work?

Rain? What rain?

2006-08-18T16:35:00.000Z

Even though the weather has been shockingly crap this week (especially for August) and it's rained or threatened to rain everyday, I have avoided the rain each time on my bike.

Thank you God.

I guess You want me to ride into work so I can get myself fit.

(It is one of my goals after all!)

England 4 - 0 Greece

2006-08-16T22:13:00.000Z

Greece are the European Champions.

We beat the European Champions.

Therefore, we are the best team in Europe.

Italy are also in Europe.

Italy are the World Champions but not the best team in Europe.

Therefore, we are the best team in the world.

Soul Survivor Testimonies/Miracles + Violins

2006-08-15T16:17:00.000Z

Here's a list of stuff that happened on Sunday nights healing service to encourage you guys:

The preacher asked for people to stand up if they were sick or if anyone in their families were sick. One guy stood up for his dad. His dad had cancer in the latter stages and was feeling pretty rough back home. After being prayed for the boys dad (from home) phoned him up to tell him he felt completely fine. Guess we'll have to wait on doctors to verify whether the cancer has gone but it sounded great!

Someone had busted their ankle and were on cruches for the entire week. After prayer he could put a lot more pressure on the ankle and so didn't need the cruches anymore.

A girl who had been in a wheel chair with muscular problems got out of the wheel chair pain free.

I'm certain there were more things God did which people didn't share but those were the three things that were mentioned at the front.

I also know that some of our youth felt the Holy Spirit (ie: tingling/muscle tension/feeling great) for the first times on Sunday night and some of them even had prophesies which I'll let them share (that's you Char! :P )

Violins

We had some violinists on stage with a cello and bassist too who were just brilliant. I have to tell you about the gorgeous one as well because she was such a blessing. When she wasn't playing she would jump up and down hands in the air with her violin stick pointing up into the air as well. It was a great sight to see someone completely sold out for God in worship and really spurred me on to give God everything in worship/praise as well.

The fact that she was gorgeous was a plus ;) and gave me an excuse to go up to her at the end and tell her what a blessing she was. (I think the camera men liked her as well cos she was on the big screen loads!)

'Power' 'Stand in Him'

2006-08-13T23:47:00.000Z

If this week was the equivalent to getting kicked in the balls, I'd like to, actually in fact, I'd love to get kicked there more often. (disclamer: please don't kick me in the balls)

Indescribable mystery are probably 2 words I could use to explain how SS was.

I guess I could also use amazing, superb, majestic, awe inspiring and inspirational as well.

Cheers to all the guys who came along.
Dan, Char, Nami, Gem, Neil, Andy, Adam, Loz, Daza, Ryan, Sam.

You blessed me socks off and I hope you guys got more out of it then me.

2/5 of Curious By Design have now played at SS. Me and the Norm did a small set.

And I suppose you want to know what the title is about?
Well, they were both prophesies given to me.

The first one was my favourite/scariest/funniest.

Me and Daz were sat in the food area having waffles (dribble) and Sam had just gone off somewhere (I won't tell you it was the loo) and so she gave me her hat. I put on the pink hat and this guy came up to me and said:

"Hi. You don't know me but I've had a vision of someone who looks like you and who was wearing the exact clothes like you and I just felt God say one word. 'Power'."

It's always encouraging when a stranger comes up to you and links you directly with the word power. I like it :D

I think I know what it relates to...

And the other one was this morning when a lady came up to me and Andy in the service and said

'Just stand firm. Stand in Him'.

I'm glad she said it to Andy as well for two reasons:
1) If someone tells you to stand it usually means something difficult is coming your way. In this case we both get something difficult! lol.

2) Because we're both involved, it could be something to do with music/working together which could mean that God is saying to stand firm with the band even when troubles come (which they will) She said it to us before we had played the set as well, so she wouldn't have known me and him usually play/sing in a group.

Anyway, I've put those on here for my benefit really. But I'm glad you guys read em.

Thanks God. You are amazing. :)

And on closing I'd just like to say two things
"There gonna taste great!"

"Woah. Dude."

Time for bed. Got my first day at placement tomorrow!!!

Quality above Quantity

2006-08-09T08:06:00.000Z

I'm going to Soul Survivor for the very first time.

"Ahh Umm. Ahh Umm."

I'm going to Soul Survivor for the very first time.

"Ahh Umm. Ahh Umm."

Can it please not rain for the rest of the week.

"Ahh Umm. Ahh Umm."

And please may Hills Utd be there to... speak.

"Ahh Umm. Ahh Umm."

Honestly. I'm looking forward to this about as much as a kick to me balls.

So hopefully "things can only get better."

Youth Holiday 2006

2006-07-31T08:25:00.000Z

Unlike last year I'm not going to run through each day cos it's takes too long and is probably a bit boring. So I'll try and remember the best bits.

Finally managing to beat "He of the Ten Shampoo's" at tennis
Seeing the hot lifeguard from last year in the swimming pool
Actually getting more into the disco than last year
Looking at the stars while lying down on the beach (can't beat Uganda's stars though!)
BBQ at sunset on the beach
Playing football with Justin on the beach and then joining in with a massive game with complete strangers
The weather :D
Waking up each morning (except the last one) to pretty much blue skies
Pulling Andy Norm's bed sheet off him one morning to wake him up to see him scramble wildly to pull it back over himself and then give me a look of death!
Pranking Ryan while in the same caravan as him and him not having a clue it's me.
Sitting round a camp fire on the 2nd to last night with some random people while one of them is playing Gansta's Paradise on a guitar

And below are the best of the best quotes:

While lying on the beach some random guy from the camp fire (above) came over to us to ask us if we wanted to sit round with them. And after trying to persuade us to come over for about a minute, Nig asks:

Nig: Is that you Andy?

2. Ryan managed to be find himself a nice girl (not without help from us) and was chatting to her on the beach when Luke Green walked over. It turns out that Ryan's girl didn't exactly find Luke to be the most charming of people and so told Ryan which of course we passed on to Luke:

Us: She said she didn't really like you, Luke.

Luke: Well. I hated her accent anyway. It got on my nerves and I was only over there for 2 minutes.

Us: But you'd like to go out with her if you got the chance wouldn't you?

Luke: No! I'd never go out with a Brummie!

Us: Erm. You DO go out with a Brummie.

3. Me and the Norm had to travel back to Bristol on Tuesday and so popped round his house. His mum wasn't there though.

Tom: What does you mum do?

Andy: L. S. D.

(I'd like to point out that he meant LSA (Learning Support Assistant) just in case you did think she did LSD's) :P

4. And the best till last:

While we were pranking Ryan's phone and meant in all innocence (I hope)!

He of the Ten Shampoo's: Tom. Do you, err, want to go in the bedroom to get changed and I'll be there in a minute?

Funny. :)

It's all over...

2006-07-29T17:45:00.000Z

And I'm a bit bored.

But I'm home alone at the moment and it's so nice to actually have time to myself.

7 Hours to Go

2006-07-21T23:44:00.000Z

And I should be in bed.

Cya next week!

12 1/2 Hours to Go...

2006-07-21T18:04:00.000Z

Fashion Sense?

2006-07-21T15:15:00.000Z

I was walking around town on my lemon today (I know, loner!) and saw quite a large person on my travels.

However, I do think if you are larger than many, it's not a good idea to walk around town with a t-shirt that says, "Titanic" on it.

Made me giggle. :P

Alright. I'll admit.

2006-07-19T16:58:00.000Z

It is sooo hot!!!!

"I'm melting....

Melting....!

Oh what a world!"

It's not that hot

2006-07-19T12:01:00.000Z

It's not the hottest day for 100 years.

That was in August 2003 (when I was in hospital) GRRRRrrrrrr.

(which would explain the state some people saw me in!)

But it's the hottest day in July for 100 years. Time to go in the garden then! :D

You learn something new everyday...

2006-07-19T11:50:00.000Z

I hate goodbyes.

And I don't think it's because I'm nesessarily sad to see people go or to go myself (although it usually is) but because everything that is said feels so cliche'd.

So maybe I don't hate goodbyes.

Maybe I hate cliches.

I also hate it when you have a leaving do so have to draw the line of who you invite and who you don't meaning that someone always feels left out.

Goodbyes = Stress

(It was my last day at work (AXA) today btw)

Result: Part II

2006-07-18T11:28:00.000Z

In what has now become a yearly tradition, here is my overall %age for my 2nd year at Uni.

84%

Ba-Boom!

After being told last year that the only people to get over 80% were girls, I thought I'd try my best to score some points for the blokes.

Praise God.

Solid

2006-07-13T10:50:00.000Z

1) a) Of definite shape and volume; not liquid or gaseous.
.....b) Firm or compact in substance.
2) Not hollowed out: a solid block of wood.
3) Being the same substance or color throughout: solid gold.
4) Mathematics. Of or relating to three-dimensional geometric figures or bodies.
5) Having no gaps or breaks; continuous: a solid line of people.
6) Of good quality and substance: a solid foundation.
7) Substantial; hearty: a solid meal.
8) Sound; reliable: solid facts.
9) Financially sound.
10) Upstanding and dependable: a solid citizen.
11) Written without a hyphen or space. For example, the word software is a solid compound.
12) Printing. Having no leads between the lines.
13) Acting together; unanimous: a solid voting bloc.
14) Slang. Excellent; first-rate.

n.
1) A substance having a definite shape and volume; one that is neither liquid nor gaseous.
2) Mathematics. A geometric figure having three dimensions.

adv.
1) As a whole; unanimously: The committee voted solid for the challenger.
2) Without a break or opening; completely or continuously: The theater was booked solid for a month.

They left off:

n.
Big D

A week in the life of:

2006-07-12T22:35:00.000Z

One Wedding.

One birth.

One proposal.

One Park Event.

One 1st.

One last week before leaving work.

One work leaving do booked at TGI's.

One holiday booked.

Two holidays paid for.

Four trips to the cinema.

One sweepstake won.

Zero giggidy.

Subtle

2006-07-12T22:31:00.000Z

There's no beating around the bush here. Is there?

My Life... In a Poem!

2006-07-11T07:15:00.000Z

Now this is a story, all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down,
And I'd like to take a minute,
So just sit right there,
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In West Philadelphia, born and raised,
On the playground is where Ii spent most of my days
Chillin out, maxin', relaxin' all cool,
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys, who were up to no good, Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood,
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!'

I begged and pleeded with day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss
And then she gave me my ticket
I put my Walkman on and said 'Might as well kick it!'

First class Yo this is bad
Drinkin orange juice out of a champaine glass
Is this what the people in Bel-Air livin like?
Hmm...this might be alright
But wait I hear the prissy,
Bushwa and all that
Is this the kind of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the Prince of Bel-Air!

Well I, The plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude, looked like a cop, standin there with my name out
I ain't tryin to get arrested yet I just got here
I sprang with the quickness and like lightening dissappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said 'Fresh' And had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, home to Bel-Air!'

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight,
I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home, smell ya later!'
I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there!
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air!

Or was that the Fresh Prince's?

Come on the Italians!!!

2006-07-09T22:57:00.000Z

I had Italy in the sweeps at work.

So I win :D

I have to admit though that I did cheat in order to get them. I prayed before I picked the team out which obviously because no one else would've gives me an unfair advantage :)

But me and God made a bargain that He would get most of the cash if I won...

If only everyone put a tenner in. I'd have £160 if we did!

Germany 3 : 1 Portugal

2006-07-09T07:07:00.000Z

Never thought I'd say this but,

Thanks Germany. I'm glad you won.

And it's a Goal

2006-07-06T20:08:00.000Z

Get a 1st in 2nd Year of Uni

He shoots...

He scores!

You Read It? You Comment

2006-07-02T22:19:00.000Z

Ah go on, go on, go on, go on.

Leave me some sugar. :)

Ricardo...

2006-07-02T22:01:00.000Z

Flippin' Ricardo.

(For some reason I'm not actually that bothered about England going out. Probably because Argentina and Brazil both went out as well!)

And also because yesterday was just a great day anyway!

Congrates to the cheerful couple. ;)

Fat Head!

2006-07-02T16:39:00.000Z

Tom: I'm not going to be able to fit through those doors soon. My head will be too big.

Jen: Don't worry. I'll bring you back down to size with a bump.

Tom: *thinks* Yeah. You do that every Monday night anyway. :(

Jen: Aww. No I don't.

Phil: Yeah. It's every other Monday now!

The World According to Me

2006-06-30T22:50:00.000Z

Nig and the guys had just got back from Alton Towers:

Tom: How was Center Parcs?

Umm. Doh!

Bad Day?

2006-06-29T19:59:00.000Z

Watch this.

Brainstorming Question

2006-06-28T21:49:00.000Z

I guess we should deal with every church situation we come across in love.

But how can you practically show love to those people you deal with?

Discuss.

The World According to Maria

2006-06-28T21:39:00.000Z

Guess who's back?
Back again.
Mar-i-o's back.
Tell a friend.

Tom: Are you sure you want to wait in the car? Might be a while.

Maria (while holding the rear door wide open):
Yes. I'll wait in the car. Is it open?

The Curse of Smye

2006-06-27T21:50:00.000Z

One.
Two.
Three.
Four.

That's the number of girls who used to come to church who I fancied but who have left the church.

Every girl I fancy leaves.

Either God is trying to tell me something...
Or those girls are.

lol - be glad that I don't fancy anyone in the church atm!