The Zoos Shave All the Animals

Woah! How could I almost forget this at Nando's on Sunday afternoon!!

Manager: "Hi. Have you been to Nando's before?"
Tom: "I have and she has*points to Maria" but she hasn't." *points to Loz*

Manager begins explaning to Loz how to order, but Maria stops him. Manager walks away to get something.

Maria: "I can explain how it all works Loz."
Loz: "Oh, but I wanted to flirt with him!"
Manager is stood right behind Loz putting something on the table that has our table number on it.

*Whoops*

It's only cos I'm jealous of "the stuff".

Oh, hi there!

Hows it going?

Well, today I was in work for 10 hours and had a 30 minute lunch. For you see, we have a rather large work load at the moment and even though I'd rather go home, I don't mind milking it a bit for the extra cash. I'm not going to be working there forever, afterall.


Lightning!
Yesterday evening was cool! I haven't seen it rain like it did for a looooong time. I always love a good thunder storm too so I turned off the lights and watched the flashes as the sky began to kill itself. If you didn't get to experience it, or are scared of thunder storms then... hehehe.


War of the Worlds!!
This looks pretty damn cool too. And I'm going to go see it on Friday. Spielberg mainly rocks, so I can't really see a disaster film directed by him being anything other than fantastic.

CAN
NOT
WAIT

And if you're not going to see it... hehehe

BIG BROTHER
Everyone has their own opinion. And I'm no different. Saskia can now leave. I was a bit annoyed that both Maxwell and Saskia were up yeterday but Saskia has managed to lower herself so far beyond the 'respectability line' that I know exactly why Kamal called her a tramp! If you don't watch Big Brother even occasionally, then shame on you... hehehe


Quotes Spot:
I work on a 'quotes' team at work, so find it fitting that I should get most of my 'quotes' from there.

Tina: "Have you seen my bucket?"


Tom: "Have you ever been to the Southern Hemisphere?"
Tina: "No"
Brenda: "Isn't Egypt in the Southern Hemisphere?"


And like I said last blog, I do get bored at work, so I play little games.

At the moment I've got to guess who's on the end on the phone without them saying their names. And cos Cassie and Kelly both sound similar (Lancashire area) it's can be quite hard.

Tom: "Kelly?"
Cassie: "No it's Cassie."
Tom: "Damn!"


Currently I think I'm about 3:3 where I've got it wrong 3 times and right 3 times.


Sunday afternoon was interesting too.

"The stuff" was far less vague then it sounds - oi, it was my garden - naughty! But I also spotted (no one believed me at first - what trusting friends I have, eh! ;) ) Helen from Big Brother 2. I now know not to ask Alison if someone is a famous person or not because she'll always say no.

Helen was spotty.

Heh.

I've also learnt that even when you are 20 years old, you can still go down a tube slide in a park and not get stuck! And also that you can poo yourself on a small roundabout cos Trist has pushed you too fast and you can't hold on.

My 8 comment target has been met, so now I suppose I'm obliged to blog.

First we'll do a quick catch up of the past few weeks:

I got a car. *grin*

It's cool. ATM it's making a funny squeaking noise when I turn the engine on, which is what happens when you tighten up the power steering belt too much, and so it begins to slip and the person who done it (ie: my dad) has gone away for the weekend :( so it can't be fixed.

People are also a bit wary of coming in my car. Obviously, getting a bad reputation is easy.
Most things are easy to lose. Unfortunately the label "car destroyer" is not one of them.

Ah well.

I'm using it as an excuse to not drive when our church goes on a day trip in 2 weeks. No one will want to get in my car and those who don't mind will have their parents there! lol.

It's a nice colour though. I'm praying I don't crash it... really praying.

A few funnies have been logged in my brain from the past couple of days especially for this blog. I find that when you have a blog you tend to remember more quotes!

Quote 1:
Last Sunday - driving home from morning meeting in church... and it's hot!

Tom: Maria, you're car has air con doesn't it?
Maria: Yeah, I just turn this dial to the blue part and it blows out cold air. Give it a minute to get started though.
Tom: Are you sure you don't have to press this button with the snow flake symbol on it?
Maria: No. That defrosts the back windscreen in the cold when it's icey.
Tom: Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the one with squigley lines across the parrellel lines which did that? (the one in all cars)
Maria: No! They both do it, I think.
Tom: Look. I'll put it on and we'll see what happens.
Maria: No. Because it won't work.

I put it on.

Maria: OH! The air is getting colder! Close your window, Margaret.

Quote 2:
Wednesday Night - youth social and we were walking upto Lauren's front door after a night walk

Loz: Oh look! Someones posted something through my letter box. They always post rubbish in there!
Tom: Err, Loz. That's the box we left in the porch, remember? The big one that can't fit through letter boxes.
Loz: *Laughing* Oh you should so blog about what I just said.

Quote 3:
Thursday at work. I had just phoned someone from a place we phone constantly. I thought it was someone else who works there though.

Kelly: Hiya.
Tom: Hiya baby. /end Joey.
Kelly: *laughing histerically*
Tom: Oh pants! I thought you were someone else!!! (someone else is Michele who I've known for about 2 years - oh, and she's 45 and is a bit big for me!)

Apparently though, Kelly is really pretty, so I didn't mind too much. I emailed her back today to apologize but also to flirt a bit. Work can be boring sometimes... even when I am busy... but I think God was telling me no, cos I got her email address wrong twice and I think it failed to send the 3rd time! I mean, she is 300 miles away though!

Quote 4:
Friday Night - at youth club and one of them asks for a drink of water, so I take them round to our demolished kitchen area that is in the 'process' of benig referbished.

Tom: Come on then. I'll get you some water.
Kid: Why don't you put the tuck shop behind here anymore.
Tom: *Looks around sarcastically at danger signs and barrier tape on walls*


Quote 5:
Friday Night - we had just gone for a walk in the park and were waiting for Trist and Lis and some others to get there. It's 11pm.

Gemma: It's still light over in the direction. Look, the sky is orange so the sun must be up a bit.
Tom: *pauses* That's the street lights, dear.

I know they never seem as funny when they're written down but at least I got to enjoy them first hand :)

But what's the title about?
Who else but Maria? I'm sure Lis will blog what Maria said to her tonight (nothing bad) but we've all figured out that with Maria, she is exactly what she eats.

Just like a Ferrero Roche, she might seem a bit hard and have rough edges on the outside, but once you get past that, she has a soft centre with plenty of nuts.

ZONTO!

A few months ago Loz posted a bit of a poll on her website asking bloggers to vote on what embarrassing moments from her past they wanted to hear. And because the voting was fixed, I ended up posting a conversation we had on MSN (HERE) Finished reading that? :) Funny wasn't it? I felt a bit guilty at doing this so I've decided to share 2 embarrassing stories from my past.

1st up - The Clap.

I was in Year 6 and because I went to a Catholic school, we would sometimes get together with other district schools for mass/celebration services, and this year was leavers celebration. The service was held at Clifton Cathedral, and this place is huge. It can hold I'd say, about 1000 people, and on this particular day there were about 300-400 (something like 8 different schools) We had a list of songs we were singing and the old school favourite of 'Gloria' - the one where you are supposed to clap your hands after singing 'Gloria' - had just started. I was 11 or something, so I enjoyed the part of this song when it got to the clapping bit. Unfortunately for me, our teachers had already begun teaching us English reserved-ness…
Why is that unfortunate, you say? Because they forgot to teach me.

Apparently they had told us that we weren’t going to clap at that bit.

So while the rest of the 300 or so people got to the clapping bit, only one of those people clapped.

Yes… yes. I looked like and felt like a muppet.

And not only did my day start bad with that – next we all went bowling and I think I managed to finish last out of my entire year. Nice.


2nd up – Funky Chicken.

Now, if you’re reading this Sara, it should be familiar to you! All I can say now is, ‘whoops’!

So, I’m in the senior ministers house a few years back, with his brother, his wife and some other people and the song, Sunscreen comes on. I know some of the song so I just talk in the bits I know.
It gets to around the middle and my favourite line (possible ex favourite line now) comes up.
“maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary”

Now. Remember. I’m in the senior ministers front room, with his wife… and brother… and other people from the church I go to. And what do I say at this point?

“maybe you’ll dance the f***ing chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Lord. Where the heck did that come from? It’s all a bit of a blur from that point on… and either everybody laughed, or I imagined it to hide myself from the shame.

But there we go. I'm sure there will be many more to come - but I hope not.

So I finished my exams on Thursday.

*Yay me*

And what better way of celebrating than going out with your Uni mates into town and getting drunk?

Well... minus the drunk bit...

For me that is! ;)

I don't usually go out with mates from Uni for a few reasons.
a) I'm busy
b) I'm doing something else
c) It's expensive and I can think of better ways to spend £20 per night.

So I only go out on special occations. Plus it's the last time I'll see em for about 4 months. Although they keep on telling me to go to where they live and 'hang out'.

Listen. I'm not going to travel in a car that I don't have, for upto 3 hours, just so I can see someone who I'll see for 8 months next year. I mean, they already know how to get to Bristol, so why don't they come here?

Genius.

But back to town. I danced. I saw my mates get drunk. I posed by, and on, a massive metal statue of a dung beetle. See here

And I got hit on.

Oh yus!

My friend (her name is actually Dani - so lets call her Rach) had brought a mate along for whatever reason. Perhaps she was feeling lonely? I don't know.

Anyway, this mate of her's - Fran - I thought I recognised from somewhere. And later on I found out that she had been to the same college as me and also actually took 2 of the same lessons as me! However, she was in the year below so I had an excuse for not being too sure.

I had heard about Fran from my other uni mate (Lia) about 2 hours before hand. That story is quite funny too. The basic jist of that story is that Lia wanted to punch Fran cos she was flirting with one of her mates. And from this story I kinda formed a picture that Fran was a bit of a playa.

And oh yes. She is.

I was the only one she spoke to all night and she just kept on looking at me. Damn, I must be hot!

And even though she was quite hot, I'm not one of these blokes who's particulary interested in a snog and then never talking to that person again and when I'm kinda trying to get someone else, it's a bit hypocritical (I think) to get with someone else - unless you like them more of course!

(Although I wasn't actually trying to get with her - she was basically handing it to me on a plate!)

So being the gentleman I am, when she said she was leaving and ask whether one of us lads would walk her to the bus stop, I blanked her.

Obviously my mates were outraged and told me to go after her.

I blanked them too.

So that is my Thursday night story. I thought I'd try and drag it out a bit cos I'm not usually the focus of anyones attention. :)

As for how my exams went. I guess I'll find out next month when the results are out. I think I did pretty well...